You're not the only one who wants to shoot something!

Just to warn you, this blog will have cursing.  Maybe not adult photographs or things like that- but definitely cursing.  Be warned.  Oh, and special thanks to the people at the Apple Store, who took my dying laptop, made it process it's last processes, sadly, but then replaced it with a brand spanking new one.  So man, not only are we back, but we're BACK!  It's nice to have a laptop that actually types at the speed you're typing and not 5 minutes later when it feels like filling in the characters.  Makes blogging difficult.  Back to the story:

 Let me tell you guys about the biggest asshole ever.    

We bought a storage unit awhile back that had a Tasco World Class Rifle Scope box in it, with what appeared to be a scope inside and another piece as well.  According to the box it was a pair of binoculars, free with purchase.  So you're getting like a $75-100 scope, with a bonus pair of binoculars.   Sounds like a pretty good deal, right?  All the pieces were there and it looked like it was in pretty good shape so we had someone we knew looked at it who confirmed it was in pretty good shape and we put it up on eBay.

I alway try to be as honest as possible in my listings because I'd rather someone not buy something than have to refund someone and deal with all of the foolishness of them returning the item, leaving feedback, contacting eBay, blah blah blah.  So, unlike other unscrupulous people who may just say whatever to get someone to buy and then disappear- I'm 100% honest.   Even 1000%.  Is that possible? :) 

Here's a copy of our listing.   I'll do you one better and post a screenshot of our listing, obscuring the douchebag's screen name and even the ID # just so you can't find him.  But if you're really creative and look up our store you might still be able to find him.  Here's a hint- he's the ONE negative feedback we have, but we'll get to that in a second.


FIRST, I want you to look at all of the pictures.  Sure we provide 3 or 4 of the box and the details on the box- but there are not one, but TWO of the actual products inside the box, am I right?

Second, look at our actual description.   Pay special attention to the VERY FIRST LINE that says: "unsure whether this one has been used or not.  Was acquired at auction."   Was there ANYTHING misleading or hard to understand about that sentence?  We'd love your opinion on this, seriously.

Now here's the e-mails from our dude and our responses.  

Here's the first e-mail from our boy genius.  We'll tell you that his screen name references a certain animal body part, a kill shot, and his name,  so we'll just call him LegShootIdiot

eBay sent this message to Brian Monk (storagehero).Your registered name is included to show this message originated from eBay. Learn more.

	This member has a question for you.

Do not respond to the sender if this message requests that you complete the transaction outside of eBay. This type of offer is against eBay policy, may be fraudulent, and is not covered by buyer protection programs. Learn More.

                       

Dear storagehero, Hey there, recieved the scope HMMMMMMM, not unused like your discription and there are no binoculars,what to do? this thing has deffenit wear on it .not cool - legshootidiot

***

First of all, learn to spell you MORON.

Second of all - does my DISCRIPTION really say it's unused?  DEFFENITLY?  Good Grief.

But we value our 100% feedback rating, so here was our response:

Dear legshootidiot,

Actually, the very first line of the ad said that we got it at an auction and were unsure about whether it was used or not... So it's really unfair to say that we advertised it a unused.

Secondly, I realize now that there was not binoculars but two scopes but only because several people have contacted us and told us that it was clear from the pictures. One guy even offered $75 buy it now but I declined as your bid was already in place.

Even though I advertise no returns in this case I will be happy to. You can send the item back to 1005 Central Avenue #B Metairie LA 70001 and I will refund you promptly.

Thanks,

Storage Heroes

- storagehero

We thought everything was taken care of, until the asshole filed a buyer complaint.   In his complaint to eBay he indicated his item was "not received"  as opposed to "not as described" which is completely different.  It basically means that the seller has to refund immediately, as opposed to refunding after they receive the item - which obviously the buyer can't return if they never received it.  He obviously knows this ( he has 41 or so feedback) so was trying to get past the system.  He also tried to escalate it to customer care by lying and saying that he had "never heard from us"  and that we had not returned his complaint even though, as you see above, we did- within 12 hours of his original message.

But wait, there's more.  He also sends us this little ditty:

Dear storagehero,

Hey look ,,the one scope is a Bushnell not a Tesco world class anybody can see that by just reading whats on the scope there both broke ,,the crosshairs in them are doubled,plus no binoculars,,list things right next time Srry storages hero's but that's bad business where I come from,if you dont know what a scope is supposed to look like then maybe you shouldn't be selling them.

- legshootidiot

 I wanted to immediately go off on him here... as he is such an idiot and obviously just does not get the point, and I KNOW that Brian would have gone off on him had I let him respond, but I was still remembering that you get more flies with honey than you do vinegar and really trying to protect our Feedback rating.  I never forget how that one C in school ruined my 4.0 average- once that happens, you can never, ever, ever get a 4.0 again, and that's how it is with 100%.  It only takes one to never be able to get it again.  I can't tell you how many times I have completely eaten my pride to try to save our feedback and usually it works.     Here's the nice, tactful response:

Dear legshootidiot,

I've already told you that once you send the item back I will issue you a full refund. No need to be derogatory or rude.

- storagehero

Dear storagehero,

It's on the way ,,Srry wasn't trying to be rude you guys have very good reviews this is a hiccup for both of US.

- legshootidiot

 RELIEF.  My niceness worked, and he obvious now has looked at our feedback profile and sees that we're not some kid selling stuff out of his garage (no offense) that never ships stuff out on time, we're actually a company and we value our reputation.   Here's my response:

Dear legshootidiot,

No problem! We buy estates and storage units, so a lot of times we come across items that aren't in our area of expertise. You can read all about our adventures at http://storageheroes.blogspot.com if you're interested. Thanks for the info on the scopes.

- storagehero

 See how nice that was?   I thanked him, plugged our company-- maybe he will like us even better,  and slightly even almost apologized.   Even though I was full of crap I also made him feel like he gave me information I didn't know on the scopes!  I was going above and beyond, or so I thought.    Then I get a notification, a few hours later ( 6am this morning, actually)  - that he's left us negative feedback.  Here's the screenshot, you're going to LOVE what the feedback says:

 That's right, our perfect feedback went from 100% to 98.1%, just like that, and it's not even REAL feedback.  He's still stuck on that "like new"  bullshit.  Oh, and to top it all off,  he two-faced was all kind and sweet and not an idiot in his last message and then did a complete 180 on me.  Usually you know a customer is going to be mad if they find out an item has been delayed in shipping or SOMETHING, and it's usually not your fault, but at least you can expect it.  This was just random.  Maybe he's on his hunting time of the month, or something?  Now, our feedback is ruined, and the only question left in my mind is whether or not it can be saved.  Can he edit it?  I'm not sure.  I literally want to write him back "good luck getting your refund, asshole"  and translating it so that he can understand, to "gd loook gitting ur refound asshole!!!!!!"   but I basically just try to CIVILLY make him feel like a loser and a jerk.  If he's a hunter he's probably somewhat of a country boy, so I figured maybe the whole honor thing may play a part.  Here's the response (and yes, I'm wasting SO MUCH of my time on this loser, I am sadly aware):

Dear legshootidiot, I cannot believe that after trying to be so nice to you and working with you and offering you a refund even though our policy says clearly no refunds, you leave us negative feedback, knowing full well that we had 100% positive because you mentioned it to me. What gives ??? If it was SO obvious what the items were you should have realized it from the multitude of pictures provided. You clearly didn't read it also because you told us that you read it was unused when I gave a full description completely honest in the listing. On top of that you told eBay you didn't receive the item at all instead of indicating that it was not as listed, trying to force me into a full refund without you having to return the item. Or did you not read that either? I don't know who you are or where you're from but I hope you have a lot more honor in the shooting arena than you do on eBay. Never once have we been anything but friendly and cooperative with you. I hope you can live with yourself. - storagehero

 I would have said more but eBay cut me off.  What is this, twitter?  Damn character limit!

He responds with the ever eloquent -- 

Dear storagehero,

your dad should have said " here are two really broke scopes,Im gonna lie to you and tell you their tasco world class ,when you receive your junk you'll see I lied one Is a Bushnell ( big difference) plus this comes with binoculars,but haha joke is on you cause your not getting them,, in my arena I couldn't hit crap with your junky BROKE!!! scopes. So come on people just stop!!!! . A second complaint will go in if im harassed anymore.Srry I listed your item like New that was my mistake,looked at alot of scopes I should have bought before I bought yours. Later storeage zero.

- legshootidiot

 My Dad?  WTF are you smoking, kid?  You best not be getting high while you're waiting for that deer, because you might accidentally shoot the mailman or something instead.   He also goes out of his way to be a jerk, throwing in words like "junk"   "lied"   "joke is on you"  "crap"  and so forth and so on.   He tells me I'm not getting the items back, and that he confused our ad with another one.  Frustration.  And yet I'm HARASSING HIM??  You haven't SEEN harassment yet,  boy.  I used to be a skip tracer.  I can find your address, phone number, mama's phone number, work address, and naked pictures of your girlfriend online.  That's a fact.   I'm a nice girl and I won't use them... unless I have to. Do NOT get on my bad side, especially when I'm trying so hard to be nice to you.  ESPECIALLY when you want a REFUND!   MORON! 

Oh, and Storage Zero!    Awesome. I  could never ever ever have thought of that one.  

  Time to be more forceful... a language he understands:

Dear legshootidiot, You need to change the feedback. You said in the feedback that we advertised it like new and it wasn't. That is a total lie. Do you realize that even if I make 500000 perfect transactions, I will never ever ever be at 100% again? Please tell me what I did wrong. I told you I would refund the money and without even giving me a chance to do that you leave negative feedback ruining my perfect score ? I have no idea what you're talking about referencing my dad. It's just me and I am a young single girl and her business partner. Maybe you have me confused with someone else again? Please change the feedback, send me back the item, and I'll give you a full refund. I have already offered this to you... - storagehero

 Let's get a reference in not only the dictionary, but also spelling, foreign countries, AND morals -  are you ready for this one??  Let's see brilliance in action:

Dear storagehero,

your ad not dad Srry here is the deal when im refunded I will grant your wish a change the feedback,because I have integrity,and good Korea's thats the deal , im hunting and my hands are cold Srry for the dad typo. Is this making you happy????? im not a jerk just give it to people straight!!!!!!

- legshootidiot

 And this guy gets to carry a WEAPON?   I'm ALL for the right to bear arms, but maybe not in his case?  Good Lord.  I'm so happy I don't live anywhere near New Jersey.  Oh wait, here's a clarification.  Guess Bambi doesn't come out for assholes, and he has some more free time:

Dear storagehero,

Integrity and morals not Koreas,,spell check Srry.

- legshootidiot

 At this point it's almost 8am, and I've about had it with this dude.  I don't even care about the feedback anymore:

Dear legshootidiot, You are being a jerk. I made a mistake, I didn't know what the item was. I admitted that from the start, offered you a refund and an apology as soon as you informed me of the problem, and you opened a case against me. We worked it out again, where you said you weren't trying to be rude and you could see I had great feedback and were trying to work with you, and then less than 24 hours later you leave me negative feedback. Then I ask what is going on because it was such a 180 from the previous conversation and you imply that I'm threatening you. Rather than waiting to leave me feedback until after the return was completed you left it without even giving me a chance to make things right. Everyone is viewing it right now and it's a total untruth. I'm not happy about this at all. I don't enjoy being up at 6 am on my day off to deal with you. I am just trying to start a new business and you are not helping or being the slightest bit cooperative - storagehero  In my final act, I report him as an unethical buyer AND escalate our case to customer support referencing all of his lies, the fact that he tried to defraud eBay by lying about not receiving an item, and the fact that he plans on telling all of his friends to buy stuff for me and leaving me "sucky feedback"  which you can see below:

Dear storagehero,

The feedback was left before any of our conversation,,,and I dont care what time it is at your house ,,you sent me a message this morning,,, sooooo I guess the feedback stays what you dont know is you suck as a buissiness person and I will get all my friends to buy stuff from you all day and give you sucky feedback so keep it up and you will be drowned in nothing but bad feedback Plus I just forwarded all your messages to the complaint department plus what I have sent you. PS check out my 100% feedback sweet aunt it. your a real trip by the way. take care storage zero's.

- legshootidiot

 So, that's our saga.  What do you think?  Should we have been ruder?  Handled it differently?  Sold it to the guy who asked me to Buy it Now on Day 1 (YES) -  ha.   Leave your comments below, and if you like you can even e-mail us at storageheroes@gmail.com -- but whatever you do, PLEASE do not leave us negative feedback on eBay.  Unless we really deserve it!

xoxo,

We put the RAGE in STORAGE,

Storage Heroes