To the XXXTreme -- (Adult Content)

Greetings, guys!  Rebecca here... Brian is close by but working on some eBay sales.   We've got a doozie of a blog for you tonight!

Every once in awhile we get a unit that's just so unbelievable that we HAVE to blog about it with tons of pictures and videos just so you get the idea of how truly amazing it was.  Our Whore-der unit was the perfect example of this. This unit we're about to discuss is one of those units.   It's easy to be sensational in this business, there are lots of private things that most tenants would not like others to see, and a general curiosity from everyone to be able to delve deep into someone's personal life,  but we also try to be genuine "Storage HEROES" so there's a fine line we always walk between respect for people and an entrepreneurial spirit-- after all, once we buy something we have a right to it, and that person has had every opportunity to get it back, for weeks and weeks, up until the very last second we are at auction.

With this particular unit, the man seemed like an upstanding member of the community-- and had a big secret.   Married with children, he led a dark and secret life filled with gay sex, cross-dressing, and kinky activities involving torture.   It is never our desire to out or expose anyone-- so we decided to wait a bit before publishing this blog.  This unit was purchased several months ago.

Please be warned (as if the above wasn't warning enough) that this blog is full of adult content-- we will put the raciest of videos and pictures (usually the ones with nudity) behind links that you have to click through.  If you're easily offended you may want to go read one of our past blogs instead!

Here goes...

When we got to the unit... this is what it looked like when the doors rolled open.  We were thrilled by the prospects of it.  This facility is very close to us (we typically buy about 20-30 minutes away which isn't far by any standards, but this one is like...  less than 2 miles away from each of our homes... so it's definitely convenient),  it's super nice,  it's indoor and climate controlled but you can get to it after hours-- it's just a beautiful facility.  Because of that, we almost never buy at the facility because the units go for way more than than do anywhere else.  For some reason, this day had a lighter crowd, and we were determined to get this unit no matter what.  A couple of people did bid against us, but we were so insistent that they eventually backed off.   I can't remember what the sale price was because it was so long ago, but I know that it was over $300 and under $500.

If you're wondering why we had to have it, there were a couple of reasons-- there were lots of visible things that were in great shape--  a home gym inversion table,  a really nice dining room set that still had the chairs covered in plastic, yet no huge bulky pieces, mattresses, or anything too difficult to move.  There were also a lot of very clean, very neat, very well packed boxes.   They were all labelled with the name of the Storage Facility as well, which usually means that the person took great care in moving their items into the unit (and also great expense, as those boxes aren't cheap!).  Good signs all around.

Here are some more views of the unit: 

After we purchased the unit, we went to the other 5 locations in the caravan auction.  For some reason we bought 4-5 units in one day (we still need to blog about a few of them-- one was the one with all of the toys, including the dinosaurs that wouldn't stop moving and the Burger King toys)...  needless to say, we had 24 hours to get all of the items out, because the facility was overfull and didn't find that out until after we bought it, I believe, so we were pulling a late nighter!  It's probably a good thing no one else was around when we were there with this unit, because I shrieked SEVERAL times!

The first thing we opened was a box of tools... useful ALWAYS:

The next box, not so much-- there was a giant golden lion (we've since sold) that was SO heavy, and a black and gold horse head, which we still have!  Please submit your inquiries on it! :)

This inversion table was in nice shape... but it started giving us ideas that maybe we were in for an experience.  See that black bit on the table?  That's bondage tape.

A view of some of the boxes in the back of the unit:

Some pillows, although in very nice condition (probably the nicest pillows out of any of the pillows in storage units), we still threw them away.  We don't deal with pillows or blankets EVER-- it's not worth the risk to our other inventory for fleas, ticks, bed bugs, lice.  Not to mention, if someone was a smoker, everything could end up taking on a terrible smell!   Once we started finding some... other items... in the locker, it was a definite that we were getting rid of these pillows!  No telling WHAT happened on them!

There were also some empty boxes that the tenant must have purchased for packing but didn't use-- Brian is always shipping items so was really happy about these!  There was also a brand new 85 piece tool set!

HERE WE GO....     In a bag... nicely packaged... was THIS.  Or these.    They are HUGE.  I realized you couldn't tell from the picture, so...

I put my hand in the picture for a size reference:  The one all the way on the right is longer than my THIGH.

I was scared to open THIS bag, but it turns out to be a really nice bowling ball!  And bowling shoes!

 Oh... but, in the bottom of the bag (of course), was THIS:

 Vibrating Velvet Harness.  Brand new in the package!  Who couldn't use one of THOSE?   For the record, I STILL have no idea what this thing does!


Someone found a baseball bat!

Notice the 2 boxes of records behind him?  That's always a really good seller for us, we can sell a box or more of records in under a day.    There's also a little valet / TV dinner table.

Another bag... it's time to play What's in the Bag!

 GOODNESS!     Contents included:   super large dildo,  purple flashlight thing,  bondage tape (which I had never really considered as being a thing until this unit),  various items of unknown origin, batteries, vibrating things (please excuse my ignorance, I'm very much a good girl), oh, and my favorite...     there was a key that I had found earlier, and whenever that happens we're excited because there's a chance there is a lock around and if the lock is uncut that's one less lock we have to buy and one more for our arsenal.   I looked in the bag, and saw the matching lock and without gloves (I will tell you later why I don't wear gloves when digging most times),  went for it.  It was attached to...  well, watch the video to find out.  Brian was laughing hysterically at me

There was also this mystery bottle of fluid in the bag ( featured in the video above).  It was in a coke bottle but had a consistency more like oil, but a color that was brownish black.   Did NOT want to open it to find out!

   Here's another video... probably one of the funniest moments/times we have EVER had in ANY storage unit!  I laugh every time I watch this video!

Brian playing with the valet stand / clothing rack / tv stand / whatever it is.

The bag, I was scared to look inside, but seemed innocent enough with toiletry items:

THIS bag on the other hand... well, you can see what's sticking out of it, right??   There were also a BUNCH of items inside, that we'll get to later.

No idea what this was... maybe me using my hand to shield you from whatever it was!  You're welcome, dear reader!

Brian found something...

It's a really nice cd player / record player  / radio that's meant to look antique, but obviously isn't.  Really cool though!

The chairs from the dinette set.  Really nice and in GREAT shape!  We ended up selling the 5 piece set for somewhere around $200... so, that was half of our unit investment right there!  They were also really light and easy to move, so that was much appreciated!

A file folder, personal items and paperwork-- this tenant was really good about not storing too terribly much of it and it was all very organized.  We returned it all, of course.

Another shriek came from me over this (fake) snake!   Not like some of the other snake looking things in the unit, but scary nonetheless!

Foot spa, brand new in the box!

Oh goodness.  Remember the bag with the dildo sticking out it inside the box that I said we'd get to later?  Well, it's later, and here it is.    On the top, it looks like the standard box... condoms, sex toys, porn, etc.   But, when you look a little further,  you see eyelash adhesive, powder, cake makeup foundation, eyelash curlers, eyeshadow, things like that.  At this point we still weren't sure if we were dealing with a man, woman, or couple-- so I didn't think much of it.

Porn... wigs... strap on boobs!  (I can't wait to see the hits we get on this blog based on the keywords... oops).   We try to keep it clean, but how else could I describe these things?

We now had some of the cross-dressing items, including a book on "How to cover up your beard with makeup" -- so I was pretty sure on what we were dealing with.  The porn sealed the deal.   It involves nudity, so we'll make you click here to see it, but as a preview, let me just say, that I've never seen a pile of guys stacked so high!   That's right... it's exactly what you're thinking!

Here's another one.  Called Transsexual Sex Orgy:  Don't say I didn't warn you.

And another.  I'll let this one be a surprise.  But it involves the military!

There were quite a few in the box (and scattered throughout the unit), and of course we won't show you all of them, just wanted to bring light to a few of the more sensational titles.   As Brian would say... magnificent!


A brand new knife set, still in the box... really really nice too!   For all of the things that were a little off about this guy, he had excellent taste!

A picture of the horse-head, which again, we still have!  $25 if anyone wants it!  I am NOT sure what's underneath the cover.   I don't remember.  That's a first for me.  Perhaps Brian will remember.  Hmm....

This box was an interesting size, so of course I had to look inside...

It contained lots of beautiful art, very carefully wrapped.  This is an auction hunter's DREAM!

We used our new found table (that goes with the previously shown chairs) as a surface to prop the art on top of and begin opening some of it.  It was all beautiful, well kept, and some was even nicely framed!

 A box of books... all well kept:

Some kitchen items, including a food scale, blender, and a lot of protein powders and weight lifting stuff.

We've said this before and we'll say it again... we don't care how much you spent on your kitchen spices.  We don't care that they are "non-perishable" -- we don't even care if you only plan to have your  stuff in storage for a short period of time.   No matter how well packed, how air-tight, do NOT pack food of ANY kind.  EVER.     Luckily, this facility is so nice and clean that rodents were not an issue-- but they could have been!    We threw this entire box away.  Why chance getting sick (or getting sued over getting someone else sick??)... it's just not worth it.    Many people also don't realize but there are Indian-Meal moths that live in many grains, wheats, corn products, including cereals, breadcrumbs, that sort of thing-- if your non-perishables sit too long they can hatch and breed really quickly leaving you with a huge problem.

Back to more fun topics... clothing!   A full wardrobe!  We see these for sale all the times at facilities but have never seen one in use-- they are very nice!  We were thrilled to have this one to display clothing at garage sales, and also to have everything inside!  Sadly, they were all men's clothes, but they were NICE!

 I knew Brian would find at least ONE item of clothing he could use!

There were lots of Hawaiian shirts, lots of sports jackets (jackets for Sports teams, I mean), and really nice work shirts. Our guy was a very well employed professional (we won't say more because it's a rare job and we don't want to give anyone reason to find him).

A Direct TV receiver!  This wasn't special except for that we found FOUR of these in ONE day on this particular day:

I guess it was just DirecTV day!

There was also a REALLY nice flat screen TV (we RARELY ever find these in units, it's usually the chunky ones that no one wants that we sell for $5 or the HUGE box ones that NO one will take, even if you give them away.    The few units we've seen that have had them, have went for over $600-- people go crazy over those TVs, auction bidders included.  Fortunately for us, this one was wrapped in trash bag and hidden at the bottom of a box.  We sold it to my father for $100.   (YES, that was a huge discount!)

 Speaking of technology, here's an entire bag of really well kept CDs!  Those didn't last quickly at our sales, either:

Another box of kitchen utensils, pots, pans, and barely used kitchen products, including this mandolin:

A Jack Daniels flask!  Your Storage Heroes can DEFINITELY use this to sneak alcohol in places!

Ooh!  There's two!  It's a matching set!

Another box includes a portable CD player (which is being put to GREAT use inside the warehouse now that we've sold the 2 record players we had),  and a book.  Brian is a HUGE Warren Buffett fan (and we have many discussions about him daily) so I was excited when I saw that's what the book was!

A box of cleaning supplies!   Well packaged and in great shape.  It has DEFINITELY been put to good use over the last 5 months... I can tell you exactly where it is in the warehouse!

This box included random household items.  Our guy was very into the beach and travelled to Florida/Hawaii often--  his entire house was furnished in a beach motif.  Loved this palm tree toilet seat cover--- I didn't know they made such a thing!

Ahh-- this box was FULL of luau stuff, including leis, grass skirts, and decorations.  Oh, it also had brand new scuba gear (which we sold for a nice price), but who cares about that?   I won a trip to Oahu on Wheel of Fortune (going in June), so this stuff will DEFINITELY come in handy!  Let's have a luau this summer to celebrate!

More grass skirts and DVDs!   The DVDs were all easy sellers as well, but Used Cars is still sitting in my living room waiting for us to watch it!  I heard it was a great movie!

There was a lot of Auburn stuff, including sports jackets, jerseys, and a few commemorative bobbleheads.  We probably could have gotten a pretty penny for them because they were limited edition, but sold for a pretty fair price to some of our favorite frequent customers!

Here's a picture of  that garage sale as mentioned, selling some of these items and continuing the dig.  We dug all but the last 3-4 boxes, so I trying to get that all accomplished at this sale (told you, it was a busy weekend!)

A book on Nostradmus and the Millenium:

Another bag... oh goodness! As expected it contains lots more adult items, so we put it aside and tried to hide it from the children.  Lots of people went through it and it was sold that same day!  (We often get USED sex toys and we ALWAYS advertise that they are used, and that hasn't stopped anyone from buying them!  They always say "we can put that in the dishwasher".    One of these toys was so big it wouldn't FIT in the dishwasher, so I have NO idea what you do with THAT!)

Here's a book on the Illusion of Crossdressing.  There's also some stockings, more wigs, and more bodysuits.   I haven't seen so many body suits since Mrs. Doubtfire came out!

Our guy loved Florida so had a lot of souvenirs, including some brand new ones from Walt Disney World!

What that table looked like all set up-  one of those empty boxes actually contained the well-packed glass for the table top.  We love when it's obvious that tenants valued their possessions!

 Another view of our sale:

And another:

Brian working hard!

 Or hardly working?

Another box filled with women's accessories:

Just a sample of all of the CDs and DVDs we had.  We sell them generally for $1 a piece, so they don't last long!

Ooh... another picture of the horse head!  Looks like he's trying to drink my Burger King Soda.  Did I mention this lovely creature is currently for sale?  (we'll never get rid of it... ever!)

My Hawaiian tiki items were a perfect compliment to the mini-bar we were selling at the time from an estate.  Brian had a great and creative idea to put them on/near the mini-bar for marketing reasons.  The bar sold, but fortunately the Hawaiian items did not..  I still have them!  One of the best parts about this business is the items you get for free (cleaning products, party supplies, gift bags) that you ALWAYS have to buy and take for granted how much money you spend on them over the years!

Uh oh... another box full of hair, body suits, and porn.



I especially like the one called "Tranny Transformers"  -- some of our very very dear friends own an Adult Pride Shop that is absolutely FABULOUS --  hopefully we'll be able to pass along some of the new and unopened "goodies" to them!  Check them out at Bourbon Pride.  "Pride" is a perfect name because I can't be prouder of my friends for taking on a store and making it such a success!   Proud to know them, as well!  Oh, and want to know how we met?  We were contestants together on Wheel of Fortune!  I've always said that the best thing about Wheel of Fortune was not the money I won, or the trip, or meeting Pat and Vanna (although all that was a lifelong dream, don't get me wrong) -- it was the friendships I have made!  Check them out though, seriously, they also have a lot of really cool New Orleans types of items (beads, boas, t-shirts) and some REALLY hilarious and unique greeting cards.

 There were also some really cute shoes!   I have big feet (9.5-10) for a woman, so I was excited about these because I thought maybe they'd fit me, but sadly, they were like a size 11 or 12!   You have to special order those off the web, I hear.

One of our fellow auction hunters came by to see what we were doing at this moment, and speaking of New Orleans items-- they dropped off this bag of stuff they found but didn't want-- lots of alcohol marketing things (Jager keychains and Sam Adams towels and t-shirts)... score!  We happily sold it and sold it pretty quickly.

And, believe it or not, there were MORE leis... great for my stash... and also some boas brand new in the packaging!  You better believe I threw those at Mardi Gras !  I rode in a historic all-women's Krewe this year and had a blast!  And I threw a ton of boas!

More of the Mardi Gras fun stuff!  I think Brian kept the Budweiser pool floatie! ;)

 There was also a really cool "Wanted"  Bourbon Street picture frame!

Almost done with the dig... I guess my phone accidentally snapped this picture.  It was a beautiful day!

 PRISON LETTER!   They are in almost every unit!

BOX of prison letters!

Also some fingerprints for a job our guy had.

Some more really nice audio accessories:

Who doesn't love MASH?

And finally... remember that art?  Here are a few of them uncovered.  All beach scenes, sailboats, nautical inspired, peaceful images.  I really hope our tenant found some peace-- the facility had nothing but nice things to say about him, that he was such a sweet guy.  Maybe he's on a beach somewhere right now!

That's it...  over all, we did great... spent somewhere in the $400 neighborhood, and made $200 on the table, $100 on the TV,  $125 on the used sex toys,  probably another $200 on DVDs and CDs,  $200 on the record player and records, plus there was the clothing, kitchen items, it goes on and on.  Plus Brian's Saints jacket, Rebecca's party items (LUAU party NOT adult party) and all of the cleaning supplies!   We didn't do too shabby at all, and look at the great story we had to tell!

Storage Heroes Tip #81:  Why doesn't Rebecca wear gloves?  It's really a matter of personal preference.  Brian wears them in every unit.   Do what makes you feel comfortable.  If you must know, the reasons I choose not to wear gloves are as follows:  1) It's really hard to stick your fingers in tiny places (like coin purses, pockets of jeans with them on and taking them on/off can be a hassle when you don't have a lot of time,  2)  There are lots of little tiny things (diamonds, gold, coins) that I would never have found feeling around in pockets had I been wearing gloves, and finally 3) and most important,  if I touch something disgusting (oil, grease, dirt, liquid, etc)--  I want to know RIGHT AWAY that I've touched it so that I can a) identify the source  b) determine if it's hazardous and if I need medical attention and c) NOT SPREAD WHATEVER IT IS AROUND.  Think about it- if I am wearing thick gloves, touch something sticky, and don't realize it,  I'll touch other things and get that stuff all over the place (including in the van, in my own hair, on my face if I have an itch, whatever)... and the next thing I know I have a bunch of sticky stuff with no clue where it came from.      Again, it's just a matter of personal preference, and I know I will get flack for this, but just sharing!   The exception is, if we are processing a unit with drug needles and/or rat droppings I cannot just shake off, I will absolutely wear gloves.  If there are sex toys, I will either wear gloves or just make sure not to touch them (unless it's an accident!)

Until next time,

Storage Heroes