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Friday, February 3, 2012

Letters from a Storage Locker #11: Prison Letters 101

  Hi there!  Rebecca here... although Brian discussed this blog with me earlier today!  I have lots of pictures and things to share-- but first, I wanted to drop by to share some of the prison letters we found in the unit this morning.

For those of you who read the blog often, you know how often we find letters--  there is at least one letter or greeting card in virtually every unit we buy.  You also know how many of those are letters from prison.  I guess it makes sense if you think about it-- most people now use e-mail and texting so much that postal mail is all but extinct.  The only people who use it are the ones who are forced to, and the last time I checked you can't have blackberries or iPhones in prison.  Since there is also a high correlation between people who are incarcerated and tenants of our abandoned/repossessed storage units, you can imagine how many of these letters we find.

(Slightly obscene for the rest of the blog, as a warning)--  Because we've read, to date, HUNDREDS of prison letters, we can tell you that oddly enough, most of them are exactly the same.   There are really only a few issues on a prisoner's mind  (to date we've only had 2 females incarcerated out of about 28 writers total, so forgive us when all of our instances are male):
1)  Family -- How his family is doing (are babies okay, how is Dad, is anyone angry with him, etc).
2) Timeline -- When his time is up and how he's either completely guilty and sorry or completely innocent
3)  Extra-curricular activities --  How he's either found God (and some corresponding bible verses) or an update on weight-lifting, reading, and/or competitive prison football, soccer, softball, or baseball leagues

The next two topics sound terrible, but we promise we are not making them up.  And they occur OFTEN.
4)   Sex-- when they are going to have it, how soon it's going to be, how they need to book a babysitter, what parts of the female are going to be sore or hurting afterwards, exactly what they're going to do-- play by play.  They also (most of them) go on to give the woman exact specifications for how she should be shaved and/or douched.  It must be a popular topic in prison.
5)  Money -- They then go on to request a money order, usually for some tiny amount like $20 or $25, and then give a plea about how hard it is without money and how they really need it.  Most (not all) then give some sort of statement like "if you really loved me, you'd send me a measly little $20"      -- at this point we usually start mocking the letter out loud with "if you really loved HER you shouldn't have landed yourself in jail and left her to care for the kids alone"  -- but we guess that's none of our business.  We've also never been in jail, so I guess we don't know how hard it is.

These particular letters that we're about to post are VERY RARE, for two reasons.    (Sorry, we're in a listing/numbering mood,  I guess--- at least we're not doing our usual  1, 2, C  or A, B, 3 thing!)

1)  This guy asks for money and how is family is and all of those types of things, but it's the first time I think I've ever read one from a guy who seems like a genuinely nice person.  I won't tell you what his charges were until the blog with the rest of the contents of the unit, and I realize not to judge people by appearances alone-- but I was pleasantly impressed by the sincerity.  Brian, of course, reminded me not to be such a softie!

2)  This is the first example I think we have ever had where we have not only the man from jail's response, but also his girlfriend's reply.  Very rarely do we ever get more than one side of the letters (because unlike e-mail, letters don't come with the entire conversation attached for easy reference)-- and if we do happen to get a letter or more from each party they aren't exactly consecutive.  These were written just days apart.

PS - Names have been changed.  We will refer to wife as "Priscilla"  and husband as "Reggie"

Okay, that's enough of us... without further delay, here are the letters:


To:  Priscilla "Wifey"  & Lil Reggie "Jr"
From:  Reggie "Husband"  "Father"
Time: 10:15 pm
Date:  7-15-2008
Reason:  Be Honest!  Love Me 4eva!    I love you more than you'll ever know!
Song:  Maxwell "Fortunate"
Artist: "Maxwell"

Hello Honey Bun!
                 First and foremost I love you!  And no matter how you respond to this dont ever forget that... I heard the news my baby boy walking (yea!!) I was depressed but when I walk thru that door he gonna take his 1st steps towards daddy... I'm here until the 11th of august I aint trippin im Strong Enough!  I know you cutting my baby hair that I aint to happy about but I can't do nothing but except that part too!  Im missing all the goodness of my 1st born :(  I cant even lie after the way this has turned out I dont know who I am anymore or with way ima go when I get out... Im a poor excuse for a daddy to my son its turning out thie way my relationship is with my father... Why me! :( My son deserves better and I feel pain upon the thought of him!  He has never been away from me this long and im scared of his first expression upon seeing me!  Really the way I be feeling I wanna get released and just vanish from the whole world (why?) beause everything I always dreamed of from you for me has already came to a crash.. I left my son with no fatherly influence!  I left you to be taken into another man's arms I tell you if I would have ever had this even in a dream I would have never built a life cause I wouldn't wish this on no woman and her child!  Im sorry :( !  I'm glad he has you though cause just as you always told me im unfit and yall don't need me!  Enough of that on the bright side though!  I will be home before your birthday!  Anything and I mean anything you wanna do you can do!  :)  Priscilla I want us to have an open and honest relationship meaning ! if you wanna go on dont hold back.. If you already moved on warn me... If you having sex while im down tell me!  I know you a growing woman and you young and you aint obligated to wait for me because I fucked up not you!! I wont be mad nor will I ever bring it up to you I just dont want any surprises not saying it wont hurt because either way it will I just will be able to respect you more if you be open!  Dont get down and think I dont trust you just remember we been together for some time and I know what you capable of... if we still good after this our date is gonna be the 22nd thats the day I wanna marry you!  I don't know what you said about my daughter either so let that be known in your response letter!! :)  Again to you and Lil Reggie I'm sorry y'all didn't deserve this but neither did I our finances were just starting to boom the job was platinum I aint lying :( ... I cant make up the time lost but I could pick up where I left off and even better! Black!  I aint lying I don't even know myself anymore sometimes I just sit on the toilet and cry about the life I lead!  I don't do much wrong but smoke weed but I still cant figure out how I always end up in this pit... Being totally honest i'm so embarrassed that my mind sometimes tells me to just go straight out of town when I get out don't even bother with yours nor lil reggie life more than I already have!  It's yo call tho!!   If you feel I could never be what yall need the type of man y'all need then don't even try to put up with my shit anymore you deserve what you deserve nothing more nothing less I feel like i'm only pulling you down with me!  Im crying as I write this because you reading this and I never wanted to confess this to you but I gotta get it out!  I don't even know what i'm worth to myself :(  Im not myself anymore this has really messed me up!  Im sorry yall!  I love yall!!! Take it easy. 

Signed:  A father & Husband.

If you could when u write back send me like a $20.00 money order!  only if you could!  Don't bust yo ass for it...

P.S. I only meant and still mean good for us as a family!!!

(Here's the second letter... you should know that all the i's are dotted in hearts!)

To: My 1 and only lifetime Partner 
4rm: Your #1 Fan + Rad Chikk
Place: on Da porch
Time: 4:03P.M.
Mood:  Mellow
Song:  Brown Eyes, I carve, Dont 4get about us, Always Be My Baby
Artists:  Destiny child, Marc Dorsey, Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey
Reason thinking --->  You think I forgot about you :(

Whats Good Love,

What the buisness is?  Well before I get started let me update you on the buisness first :)  Well I know moms told you that Lil Reggie is walking with his duck feet ass. LOL.  Bae I cant wait til you see him.  Im sorry you missed his walking 1st. But dont worry ite have plenty more 1st 2 go.  I been fine.  I been way better since I know those drug charges were refused. I know you have been to. I miss you.  I sent you a letter b4 this but from the sounds of you being mad at me :( I guess it didnt reach you.  I hope this 1 does.  Well Reggie I hate to say it but Pebbles had a party June 26th and it was nice but at about 1:30am May 27th Frankie passed away.  I didnt make the funeral but I heard some ppl put on a show.  You know how that go.  Not only that, Pam has cancer and has only about 3 to 6 months to live, so not to be funny but she'll be seeing Frankie again pretty soon.  I know huh, Dats cold.  Well Reggie I hope since I havent been Hearing from you, you havent been writing to no one else, cause if you have I wont like that.  Remember when I told you, we all we got.  Forever and a day, and I would never forget about you?  Well I meant that shit, I'm yours forever Lil Reggie think he cold since he got 8 teeth and walking LOL.  Boy I must say he stunts like his DA DA. LOL.  But He aint gone never get no wifey if he keep eating paper, like right now. Im about to start school In August, I'm going to take up "RN" but I have to become a medical assistant 1st.  Tell me how does that sound.  August is whats up right now.  August I start school August 9 Mom N Law Bday August 22 My Bday But Most important August 10 My baby a free man again But this time for the rest of your life.  Snook keep talking bout you.  Not bad but he always saying something you been said and make us laugh.  So thats how I know that this shit eating him up in the inside.  But just like he threw it this time, next time somebody else gotta catch it, and I know just who that somebody gonna be.  But I been doing pretty good just mad at the fact that you mad with me.  Dont be sweetie I never meant to make you mad.  I got another tattoo on my back.  You know where I got you name. But on the other should I got a Big B with a crown on it. Dats me :)  Picture I got it done in the kitchen.  Bernaje keep telling ppl shut up :) with his bad ass.  Pebbles thought she saw you and Big Red said you gone get drunk when you come home.  Everybody miss you.  To bad they barely gonna see you when you get out Isac called me he said you told him to tell me you love me and he said you was driving him and he was happy when he got out cause you talked about me 24, 7 Sun-Sat non stop.  LOL... you love me that much? I talked to Chris he called me Mrs. Reggie (last name) I was blushed out, he really really think we married, but he said he gone keep in touch with me and you cause you not built for jail you the family type guy.  He told me something I already know.  Well I'm bout to shag cause I don't have anything else to say.  But sit tight cause Momma Lisa and Baby Moms is at your rescue.  I love you o so very much.  O yeah I showed Lil Reggie a picture of you on my computer and that Lil boy got up walked to the computer and didn't move til I clicked to another picture.  My boy know who him Daddy is, with his Daddy Lemon head ass. See you soon Babe I gotta go.  NO wait did you get my pics from the first letter?  Okay now I gotta go. PS all my letters be sloppy because I be having alot of shit to say.  But who cares.  I hope you understand this.

Yours truly,
Mrs. Priscilla (his last name)

When you touchdown I want you to love me in a special way... is that okay with you?  O yeah i hope my letter squashed our beef... baby... but im serious I dont want to beef with you.  Smooches...

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