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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Brian's Purple Heart Endeavor!

Brian here....Rebecca's partner in crime...and the better looking of the two (4 out of 5 people in "the survey" agreed!)  Up until now...I have been content with sitting in the shadows...taking my time....watching the ebb and flow of the storage locker business form itself!  And I would still be in those shadows...if it weren't for the "incident" that took place today after the auctions....(that's right..after) at Rebecca's (from here on out referred to as the Black Widow of Death)!  It was too painful to remember...but some stories need to be told...so that future generations can pass down the knowledge...and...hopefully....won't find themselves in such dire straits!

So...we get done for the day with auctions...(4 facilities, 20+ units)...of which we have become the proud owners of 2.  Now...one must ALWAYS be careful when digging through units.  You never know WHAT you are going to find and must practice caution.  This can be hard to remember, especially when the adrenaline has begun to flow through your veins....the excitement of finding new items...almost like Christmas morning when you were 5!  I'm sure this is the moment when one MIGHT expect someone to hurt themselves...take damage...injury....(Papercut, Heat Rash, Detached Retina!)  But NO.....I take damage miles and miles away from the front lines.  In a place that one would never expect....ONE OF OUR HOME BASES!  As I am gingerly carrying a plastic sterilite bin full of our days booty up The Widow's driveway, I am approaching a choke point between her car and the cold, unmoving bricks that make up the veneer of The Widow's Lair!

In an attempt NOT to damage the Widow's Ride, I veer to the right....and that is when the Widow's Lair reached out, and took off my right hand!....(Well, maybe not the entire hand, but a chunk of the top of the middle knuckle!)  Being the warrior that I am (Take Mad Max, throw in the Terminator, and sprinkle on a little Jedi) I fight through the pain and deliver the booty to it's rightful place with the rest of our treasures!  Finally, as the loss of blood begins to take it's hold...I begin to slip into a sweet, blissful sleep....to dream about ALL THE RICHES we are going to find.

When all of a sudden...I am awakened by the Widow herself...(or what I thought was a wolverine that had attacked my hand and left me scarred for life!)  I am informed that it is but a flesh wound...and that weak actions such as mine will NOT be tolerated in the Storage auctions business...(or in the Apocalypse, which sometimes this business seems like....)  But...that is another story...for another time....and that...is the story of Brian's Purple Heart Endeavor.  Next time, I will enthrall y'all with Brian's Apocalypse Now!  Take care.... here's a picture of my battle wounds as a parting gift:



Your humbly wounded,
Brian




3 comments:

  1. Um... *I* am the one who reached in the bag, bare-handed, and came out with a vibrator. Used. I think my injuries (physical and emotional) may be worse! ;) -- Rebecca

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  2. I just had to laugh at this post. Sorry Brian but suck it up and take it like a man :)

    Thanks for the entertainment. Hope you do well with your two units.

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  3. You are such a baby...

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