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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Letters from Storage Lockers #5 "I like dimes not SKEEZAS!"

Warning:  This letter (like almost all of our prison letters) involves bad language, sexual explicitness, and general things that could get you in serious trouble if your kids or boss are around to accidentally see something.  Be warned.  But boy, is it a good one!      It's written to wife Cheasi from her husband Dennis. He's incarcerated for battery.  They have 4 children together.  Her cousin's name is Stacy and I believe Stacy lives with her.  Enjoy!  This letter is clearly a response to a letter from her to him that I have not been able to find yet.  I don't think it matters much anyway, though-- you can pretty much get the just of it.  Oh, and if you don't want to read something explicit, skip this one and read our next blog post... it's pretty cool too!  I should also tell you that all four kids are named after him...  (Dennis Jr., Denisia, etc.) ... and also that I found several condoms in the locker-- including one that is glow in the dark!   So, I guess he got lucky after he got out of jail.  Or at least, someone did!


1)  Well for your information it's not about your business to worry about me ever. But to each is own.  Far as people talking about me that's fine and danny.  I'm incarserated and still thought about.  Long as they talk I'm good.  I always was a hot piece. You already know Far as Drugs as you mentioned I do or did what I did It didn't do me like most of the people may I say.  Like I said I have no secrets.  So stop coming up with old news and find something new to talk about.  Cause what you are saying don't even fase, me.  You use to know how to tick me off but not anymore try a new tactic cause the one you're using doesn't rock my boat.

Be real!  you the one that's talking B.S.  I read every letter you write me

2) And in the end you come right back and contredict every negative word you say against me.  Like I say once Daddy, put it down in always you hooked me. and you shared a lot good and bad.  Happy and sad.  But you ran away from it all remember that.  When I needed you most you was'nt no where to be found.  Doing, God only knows what.  Be honest with yourself.  You had a lot of in the closet business.  That still has'nt been revealed you ask of me to stay out of you and the kids life but you constantly say that you're not through doing what you're trying to do to me that this is only the beginning So you're the one with the Drama.  What are you telling me you're going to do me with your Tongue ring for.  And that I can do what ever I want to you HA! HA!

3) Stacie, dear you talk a good game but you already know what the dealio is. Yes, it is what it is with out a shadow or doubt you know one thing that I'm a real man to the fullest and no one and no body is going to take that from me. And far as your cousin she's not my type.  For one she too Big and nasty.  PLEASE!  I like dimes not SKEEZAS!  Get it right I can and could have had any female I want I never chated on you ever while we were together.  Seperated, yeah!  But never to hurt you I never cared or loved any other when we were married other than you. No one could tell me a word about Stacie.  But maybe if I only would have listen you mean well just hot in the Pus-y!  Broke ass please could never be broke far as hell, Family then people don't shine my shoes.  Nell, is her own woman!

4) OH!  I don't eat anybodies pus-y sweetheart!  get it right and by the way I suck and lick the pus-y cautious!  Rule number 1) Must be freshly douched 2) shaved neatly / bald is better.  3) all pus-y ain't clean pus-y ya heard me I got my picks and chooses.  That's why you can't shake d--k yet.  And if someone wants to take care of me it's alright with me including you.  Pimpin ain't easy but I got to do it I can't lose wit what I use.  Stacie, baby you don't want to go around with me baby please.  Words say one thing and actions speaks louder than words.  You right I'm and was on a whole diffrent level.  So don't play.  Murl, don't call me Victor Newman, for nothing.  Pay attention Vick, gets the job done all the time in the end.  I'm just chilin at the moment. Letting everyone do them.  Cause believe me

5)  I'm going to do me to the fullest Don't nobody tell me how to run my business and neer will ya! heard me!  And that's a blessing you and the kids are doing good.  All I want is the best for you all.  Don't get it twisted I always want you all to be on top.  No matter what situation or outcome may be.  I pray daily for all of you.  That's what's up.  You nead to get the phone oh all it is Is $20.00 dollars.  So I expect to have a Ten digit Pin number when ever you write back.  Infinity at Wal-Mart.  Are Ace Check cashing.  Make sure you get a Ten digit correct Pin # and write me with It.  And Please send me some pictures cause I can make frames and send them back to you.  Another thing you say you want divorce papers but ask for an anniversary card I know you do still have feelings for me so knock it off.  See how It feel to work, please!  I worked all my life you tripin.  It's best you stop playing with me before  regret it all.  Not a threat I promise nothing.  Violent don't get it twisted what do you plain on doing me wit your Tongue Ring.  It's been a Long time since I ejaculated.  Full of proteins strong as a mule anything I wanna do to you!  is that right.  I still got it like that.  See I told you.  You can't resist admit it You use to try to saduce me when I came over.  Hot Ass.  So all that you write Time will tell.  I was teary for various of reason.  But we will just wait and see time is almost over.  Teel the kids I send my Love will keep and Kisses Love you All!  See ya!  Later.  Write back soon!

Love Always,
Your Husband

What I learned from this letter:
1)  It is possible to learn apostrophes and commas incorrectly.
2) Some guys are painfully picky, even when they are behind bars
3)  It's probably better not to respond point by point to a letter when you're going to contradict yourself about 10 times in one return letter.
4) When you're dependent on someone for a phone calling card, it's probably not a good idea to insult / berate / yell at / them, and then demand your calling card.
5)  The male mind is weak.  No matter how worked up he got over drugs, jail, his children, working, or his hard life-- he always returned to the thought of the tongue ring!

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